The Monthly Stew.......

20) A.M. Tropical Mango Gatorade
Gatorade's last dozen or so flavors have been farcical. Luckily, there’s finally reason for optimism. The new “Tropical Mango” flavor knocked my socks off. Refreshing, citrusy, thirst quenching – without reminding me of jungle juice (as was the case with the “Frost” flavors). Give it a go.

19) Off with his Head
China executed its former top food and drug regulator on July 10 for taking bribes to approve untested medicine. I think that sends a pretty clear message that Beijing is serious about the safety of Chinese products. But can you imagine how many U.S. officials we’d have to whack if bribery convicts were sentenced to death?

18) Boston
My pick for the most neglected classic rock band of the 1970s. To this day, every time I hear "More Than a Feeling" I crank up the stereo volume to an eleven (When I’m tired and thinking cold, I hide in my music forget the day, And dream of a girl I used to know, I closed my eyes and she slipped away-ay-a-a....).

17) Border Relations
As Washington fights over immigration legislation, Gustavo Arellano is serving up his own two cents on border relations. Arellano’s somewhat serious, highly comedic, uber controversial column in the OC Weekly “Ask a Mexican!” encourages readers to write in with questions about all things mexicano. The implied joke, with more than a hint of truth, is that most Orange County residents don’t know any Mexicans. It’s therefore Arrellano’s job to inform readers about traditions, customs, and perspectives on life in SoCal with the gabachos (according to Arellano, only gringos call gringos gringos).

Recent reader questions have led to the following article titles:
1) I bet they speak English during recess.
2) Why do Mexicans want my truck?
3) So how on earth (literally) did Mexicans end up making arroz a staple of their diet?

Arrellano and numerous factoids about the Virgin of Guadalupe are at: http://www.ocweekly.com/columns/ask-a-mexican

16) The Summer of Love
This is the 40th anniversary of the Human Be-In in Golden Gate Park which led to the Summer of Love and ignited the hippie counterculture in San Francisco. Reportedly, 100,000 young people from around the world flocked to the Haight-Ashbury that summer. Free food was available in Golden Gate Park, and a free medical clinic (whose work continues) was set up. And of course, there was mucho free love -- a theme begging for a sequel.

15) Phil & Paul > Le Tour de Fraudulence
The Tour de France heads for Paris this week after a grueling 3 weeks and 2200 miles of racing. Unfortunately, the race is overshadowed yet again by doping. The latest casualty (merely hours ago) is pre-race favorite, Alexandre Vinokourov, who tested positive for a banned blood transfusion after winning last weekend's time trial. The result prompted his entire Astana team to pull out of the race.

The Tour continues to prove incapable of riding out of its own, dark shadow. If it weren’t for Tour announcers Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen, I might be tempted to stop watching coverage. But the duo’s enthusiastic, witty banter about all things correlated to the Tour, and their remarkable on-air chemistry, outlasts the scandals and derailments.

During Saturday’s coverage Liggett remarked that Vino was “riding like a man with four legs.” And the Liggettisms don't stop there. On any given day Tour riders are apt to be “pedal dancers” or “bronze gods with huge pistons, capable of putting each other into extreme difficulty.” Occasionally a rider will “turn the first pedal in anger” when attacking or “dig into his suitcase of courage” on an ascent in the mountains. Finally, there’s the reality of wearing the yellow jersey: “once you pull on that golden fleece, you become two men.”

14) Grand Teton National Park & John D. Rockefeller, Jr.
In 1927 philanthropist John D. Rockefeller, Jr. founded the Snake River Land Company and purchased more than 35,000 acres of land near Jackson, WY with hopes that the National Park Service would administer it. 15 years of opposition by ranchers and a refusal by the Park Service to take the land passed before Rockefeller sent a letter to U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt telling him that if the federal government did not accept the land that he intended to make some other use of it.

Soon afterward, in March of 1943, the President declared 221,000 acres of public land as Jackson Hole National Monument. However, more controversy over the Rockefeller gift made it impossible to officially include the land. The Rockefeller land wasn’t transferred to public ownership until December of 1949, when it was integrated with Grand Teton National Park.

The scenic highway that extends from the border of Grand Teton National Park to the southern entrance of Yellowstone National Park was named the John D. Rockefeller, Jr. Memorial Parkway to recognize Rockefeller's contribution to protecting the area.

13) Ginormous
It’s official: ginormous is part of the lexicon. The folks at Merriam-Webster found it in their hearts to include ginormous in the 2007 edition of their best-selling dictionary. Apparently, ginormous was the favorite word in 2005 when survey participants who were asked for potential additions. Other noteworthy newbies to the 2007 edition include: crunk, speed dating, DVR, sudoku, and my personal favorite, smackdown.

12) Ask and Ye Shall Receive
I was eating at Dagwood’s in Bloomington last month when I saw a contraption which looked like the Olympic Ski jump. In actuality, it was a napkin dispenser (functioning perfectly!!!). A singular napkin protruded from the end exactly where a skier would make his jump, making it super easy to grab a single napkin.

The same sandwich shop that brought us the “special sauce” has upped the ante & won last month’s entrepreneurial challenge. The morale to this story: never, ever doubt Btown.

11) Three Amigos
Most avid readers are familiar with the acclaimed British authors Christopher Hitchens, Ian McEwan, and Martin Amis. Less well known is the fact that they’re also close friends (I'd like to be the 4th at that dinner party). All have new books out.

Hitchens, the dogged neoconservative, has a new book on Godlessness entitled God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything (so much for appealing to America's conservative base). McEwan follows up two blockbusters (Atonement & Saturday) with another critically espoused novella, On Chisel Beach. Amis, a personal favorite, writes about a former gulag inmate is his latest novel, House of Meetings; reviews have been all over the board.

10) Invasor
Another sad note from thoroughbred horse racing: Invasor, the 2006 Horse of the Year, was retired unexpectedly last month after cracking a bone in his right hind ankle during a workout at Belmont Park. Fortunately, the injury was not life-threatening.

The Argentine bred Invasor won 11-of-12 career races and was undefeated in North America. In my opinion Invasor belongs alongside Ghostzapper, Awesome Again, Skip Away, and Cigar as the best dirt colts of the last fifteen years.

9) A Solemn Declaration
Over the 4th of July holiday, I took a few minutes and read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety. Most of us are familiar with the Preamble, but the Conclusion affected me just as much.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

8) The First Degree of Kevin Bacon
TV is having a good year. I’m a regular viewer of Heroes, October Road, Friday Night Lights, and more recently, The Closer (TNT: we know closure). I was also a regular Grey's viewer but had to hit the eject button when it turned 100% soap opera.

I’m particularly thankful for The Closer which is cranking out new episodes this summer while other shows head for the beach. The star of the show, Kyra Sedgwick (Kevin Bacon’s wife), is outstanding as Los Angeles’ chief investigative interrogator.

7) I Knight Thee Sir Rushdie
Author Salman Rushdie was awarded knighthood status last month in Great Britain. Rushdie is most known for being exiled from Iran in 1989 after the publication of The Satanic Versus. After its publication Iran’s Ayatollah called a fatwa on Rushdie and his publishers, sentencing him to death for the book’s attacks on Islam. Rushdie’s knighthood is likely to spark additional controversy, the timing of which coincides with additional terrorist plots in Britain.

6) Cocktails & Dreams
My brother and I caught Cocktail on the tube last week: a video library “must have” for any serious collector. Coughlin’s laws are irrefutable, and the chemistry between Shue and Cruise succeeds in a signature, feel-good-80s display of sophomoric love.

My favorite moment occurs when Coughlin first introduces himself to Brian (played by Cruise):

“Douglas Coughlin, Logical Negativist. Flourished in the last part of the 20th Century. Propounded a set of laws the world generally ignores, to its detriment.”

On a personal note, that entire quote, even its rhythm and syncopation, reminds me of Aaron Metelko.

5) June 29, 2007
If the resurgent Chicago Cubs make baseball’s playoffs, June 29th might be viewed as the season's fulcrum. The Cubs gave up five, first-inning runs against the division leading Brewers but clawed their way back into the game. Still trailing by one with two outs in the bottom of the 9th, Aramis Ramirez hit a two-run walk-off homerun into the left field bleachers.

The Wrigley Field crowd went bonkers. I mean bonkers. 41,000 fans refused to leave. Sportscenter led with the victory celebration (infer pandemonium) in the bleachers. Thanks to my friend Suneet, I was sitting 20 rows behind home plate; one of the most exciting sporting moments I’ve ever witnessed.

4) The Warren Zevon Quote of the Month
“You don’t have to firebomb Dresden to prove you can fly a plane.”

3) H2O
While the market for most soft drinks is declining, the market for bottled water (purified and flavored) is booming. Unfortunately, over 90% of the environmental impacts from a plastic bottle happen before the consumer opens it (oil for plastic, oil for refrigeration and shipping, etc.). Five major U.S. cities (New York, Boston, Seattle, San Francisco, and Portland) have tap water which passes inspection as needing “little or no filtration,” and most major cities are making clean water a priority.

Nutritionists recommend eight glasses of water a day, which would cost over $1500 a year if every glass were bottled. The real question then becomes: are environmentally savvy shoppers willing to abandon water bottles (very much en vogue) for the good ole tap?

2) On Turning 30
On the one hand I feel like Strom Thurmond (in his latter Senatorial terms, not the first fourteen): my appendages are numbing and the TV dinners a la wheelchair look mighty edible. On the other hand life is eerily similar to last week, and the decade ahead is begging for a smackdown. Let’s hope the latter wins out.

1) Hokie Nation
College football practice starts next week. In the wake of the tragic shooting in Blacksburg last April, the Virginia Tech Hokies will assume the role of America’s team (in the same vein as the New Orleans Saints in the wake of Hurricane Katrina). Virginia Tech hats were everywhere last April, a simple and genuine display of support. Look for them in mass this fall as college football fans watch with hopeful anticipation as the Hokies and their “lunch pail” defense take the field.