FMyLife

It happens. Life makes everyone want to scream.

Some days you’re busy as hell; the next you can't do anything right. Then, just when you think the tide has turned and life is finally approaching an uptick, your ex shows up at your favorite bar sucking face with Johnny Mullet.

But if you’re going to swing for the fences while on planet earth, you’ve got to be willing to smile and scratch your keester when you strikeout for the 14th straight time. Sammy Sosa Hommmmmmm Runnnnnns don’t come easy, and lulls are part of the program.

Life absolutely, positively demands that you keep trudging through the ravines. And it sure as hell doesn’t hurt if you can laugh your way through a bad year (or decade) if/when your current market value is on par with a 12-inch broom.

As for me, life is pretty darn good, I’m just busier than hell. There is very little balance in my work/life balance equation. Very little time to write in these pages, which disappoints me to no end.

I guess the twelve-hour work days are wearing me down a tad. That being said, last week the long work days bothered me more. This weekend I learned about a website which put my minor aches and pains in their place.

So here’s a directive, the next time you’re feeling down, or mistreated, or like a Twinkie submerged beneath a lake in Siberia for eternity -- click on www.fmylife.com and know that your life could be ten times worse.

After reading some of these tales of woe, your plight is going to feel like a four-handed massage in Margaritaville.

Just as importantly, FMyLife will make you laugh and smirk in empathy. A blessing, whether your life is at its apex or nadir.

A sampling of my favorites FMyLifers are below.

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

Today, our class' last assignment was returned. I was annoyed to see my teacher gave my paper an F, so I doodled him hugging a giant penis on the front page. Soon after, he realized he'd forgotten to record our grades and asked to recollect the papers. FML

Today, my husband came home from work angry. He started yelling about how much he hates the neighbor's kids and that he never wants to have children. I was going to tell him I'm pregnant tonight. FML

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

Today, I came home to find a puppy in my backyard. Thinking it was lost or a stray I took it to the pound. My boyfriend came home and asked me if I had seen my present. The puppy. We went back to the pound to get it, but it had already been sold. FML

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML