The Monthly Stew: Back on Track Edition

20) And We’re Back
The Chowder has been on hiatus for awhile. Ok, that's an understatement: the Chowder has been hibernating in a bunker fending off nuclear winter. Every blog deserves a year-long siesta every now and again.

And while I’m not promising this will be a full-throttled return – where tales of international mystery and Raelian vixens are regularly unveiled – I am committing to more than a single entry. There are many ponderings worthy of our attention.

19) Craig Ferguson
When Craig Kilburn decided to step down three years ago as host of the Late Late Show, CBS handed over his 11:00 pm time slot to a little known Scottish import named Craig Ferguson. One more time: CBS handed over the reins to a little-known Scott named Craig Ferguson.

What are the chances of that happening? The chances are small. Very small.

What does it mean? It means the man is funny. Really fucking funny.

18) The Cost of Cerveza
In 1999, when I was a senior in college, I could buy any six pack of beer for $6. That was the upper ceiling. Using the handy dandy U.S. inflation calculator, my upper ceiling should now be $7.83. I walked into my local grocery store last week and didn’t have a single option other than Bud or Miller for $7.83. Not one.

Can someone get a petition going please.

17) Humidity
I’m sick and tired of Chicagoans complaining about how humid it is in the summer. When it’s actually humid, you can see the humidity. For additional information, please visit Alabama in August. Next Numeral.

16) Anthony Baldano
The third season of Guido-laden love on the predictably outrageous Jersey Shore is cranking into gear. My tolerance for the GTL clan expired before round two began, but I do want to acknowledge the show’s creator, Anthony Baldano. When someone dreams up a cast/scenario this ludicrous, somehow gets the show aired, and then it’s a commercial success…serious kudos are due.

15) IAH
I’m an airport guy. Always have been.

Flew through Houston for the first time recently: pleasantly surprised. Had a TOTALLY different mental image of what the airport would be like. Guessing that’s because I consider the city of Houston to be a hot-as-hell-poorly-conceived-never-ending-strip-of-tarmac. For me, IAH = the highlight of Houston, which also has me wondering: how would most cities fare if you multiplied airport rating (1 to 10 scale) X personal rating for that city (1 to 10 scale). What city scores the highest? It sure wouldn't be Chicago and ORD.

14) Mike’s Hard Lemonade
I can’t believe this company is still around. Do you know anyone that drink’s MHL? Is this 2011 version of Zima with a jolly rancher?

I love vodka lemonades, and I’ve never even sampled one. Commerce’s mysteries: truly, never ending.

13) Frownbook
How great would it be if Facebook had a sister site: Frownbook. Instead of “liking” a post or leaving a comment – on Frownbook you would either “haze” their post or merely say “no likey.”

Currently accepting offers for VC funding to take this idea from concept to commercialization. The possibilities are endless.

12) Vin Scully
Amidst my west coast travels this past summer, I managed to catch a few innings of Vin Scully announcing Dodger games on two different occasions. The difference between Vin and the rest of MLB announcers is the difference between high-grade sashimi and Filet-o-Fish. The man is incomparable, and I am officially jealous of Dodger fans (for this reason only).

11) This is Where I Leave You
Anyone looking for a laugh-out-loud romp of a read should check out Jonathon Tropper’s latest piece of fiction, This is Where I Leave You. I read it, laughing every page of the way, and then I ordered three more Tropper works, all of which brought endless hours of enjoyment. If you like Richard Russo or Nick Hornby, you can't afford to miss out on Jonathon Tropper.

10) David Horvitz
“If you give me $1,626 I will go to the small Okinawan island called Taketomi and send you an envelope filled with star-sand (don't worry, I've been there before, I know where to go). I will send it from there.”

The bar for creativity spurring commerce on the internet has been firmly established.

9) Wanton Endangerment
I like this term. Planning on using it more.

Dear $1 Pick Three at Delmar: you have bludgeoned me repeatedly, indicating an extreme indifference for my human life -- I am suing you for wanton endangerment.

8) 340 Driving Methods Before You Get Your License
I’m pretty sure my driver’s education class had less than 340 methods. Less……by approximately 339 methods. Apparently, the “it’s logistics” business model comes with detailed instructions.

7) Only in Indiana
Another NCAA basketball season has arrived, which is all the more reason to look back and admire Butler’s heroic run in 2010 which culminated just short of perfection when Gordon Heyward’s last minute shot missed by a mussel.

No basketball fan will ever forget last year's championship game, but most people will forget that 29,000 people showed up at Conseco Fieldhouse on the Friday before the Final Four to see Butler practice. 29,000 people. For. A. Practice.

Only in Indiana.

6) Stolpman Vineyards
If ever near Santa Barbara or the Santa Ynez Valley in California, I would highly recommend a stop at the Stolpman Vineyards Tasting Room. The estate is known for Syrah, but they also bottle a killer Petite Sirah and a remarkable white, L’Avion, which is 90% Rousanne…..very rare in this country.

Call in advance and see if Reid is working. Don’t feel bad if you join their wine club.

5) Convenience Fees
I dare you. Tell me something “convenient” about paying $10 more than face value for a concert ticket online. Convenience fees sound like a prelude to hell where Satan hands me a shovel for eternity and then asks me to pay a “convenience fee” for borrowing it.

4) Rony Seikaly
An admission right off the bat: I’ve got a man crush.

I walk into Spy Bar one random night last year, and I’m greeted by a wall of eariffic tunes; the best I’ve heard in months. And yes, I just coined the word “eariffic.”

Anyway, before long I realize there’s a seven-foot-man-child spinning the sumptuous tracks I’m listening to at Spy Bar: former NBA great Rony Seikaly.

Go to Wikipedia and check out Rony, sure enough, there’s a whole section devoted to his music career. Wikipedia also mentions the fact that when Magic Johnson was diagnosed with AIDS, Seikaly challenged him to a game of one-on-one to show people they couldn’t contract the virus through touch.

One more time: man crush.

3) Green Light in Haiti
Amidst the rubble. Amidst the loss. A little progress. A little power.

2) Yelp
In recent years Yelp has grown from a site with a small but intensely loyal group of followers who herald from the “I will review anything from ice capades to soap on the internet” camp....to a legitimately useful site for the masses. If I’m traveling and want a good sense of my food/drink/fun options, I use Yelp.

I’m not alone.

Yelp’s ascent is a perfect example of a company cresting the hill and reaching critical mass. As Yelp matured, it managed to attract reviewers more representative of the masses -- not solely those who write in from the bar when their $2 happy hour daiquiri wasn’t strong enough for their liking. And when you get critical mass, you don’t typically look in the rearview mirror for quite some time.

Don’t be surprised if a big – as in muy grande -- I.P.O. is on the horizon.

1) The Queen
2010 wasn’t a linear year for me. It can’t be summed up with a caption like “worked a ton” or “married the South American woman of my dreams.” It was a complicated year, but if you forced me to boil it down and talk about one something, I wouldn't even blink: 2010 was about Zenyatta.

A few times in your life, if you’re lucky, you get the chance to see history unfolding before your eyes. You have a chance to partake.

Zenyatta’s historic run in 2010, and the manner in which she did it – capturing the hearts of young and old, horse racing fans and peripheral bystanders – was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The grandstands literally shook last summer when Zenyatta surged ahead before the wire at Hollywood Park and Delmar. That hadn’t happened in 50 years. It may never happen again.

2010 = Zenyatta.