The Monthly Stew

20) The First Saturday in May
We’re quickly approaching the apex of my calendar year: Derby week. No joke, I can almost smell the bourbon (as the men in green aprons yell: “Mint Jewel-Up”). And thanks to the Hennegan brothers, Brad and Mike, a taste of Derby came early this year.

The Hennegans left their jobs for two years to make the documentary, The First Saturday in May, which followed six trainers with horses on the Derby trail including: Michael Matz (Barbaro), Dan Hendricks who is paralyzed from the waist down (Brother Derek), and native to Churchill Downs and ad hoc comedian, Doug O’Neill (Sharp Humor).

The trainers are incredibly candid throughout, and there’s a decent amount of time devoted to the hands which run the barn – footage rarely seen during network broadcasts of the Triple Crown. This film is a must for any thoroughbred racing enthusiast, or anyone merely wanting to see the road to Kentucky.

19) “It’s the difference between....”
In the aforementioned Derby film a reporter asked a Derby attendee why he would go to the trouble of traveling to Kentucky when he could watch the two-minute race on TV. “Stay at home as opposed to come to the Derby?” the attendee replied in bewilderment. “It’s the difference between watching a porno and having sex.”

Brilliant response. I’m definitely reusing it.

18) Hennegoat
This numeral will mean nothing to most of you. But twice last week I encountered references to “Hennegan.” Which in turn made me think about the man, the myth, the collegiate legend: Mike Hennegoat.

If last week had played out differently, I might have (mentally) lost Hennegoat forever. As is, the fire has been relit. And somewhere, sworn to a sacred oath, Hennegoat sleeps knowing the recipe for Dagwood’s special sauce. Damn I’m envious.

17) Speaking of Fraternity Brothers of Yore.....
This stunt might well be the work of Joel Priddy, collaborating with Mr. Anonymous from heaven. God bless them both.

16) Nielsen Households
I can’t go on a trip without “randomly” running into someone I know. It’s ongoing validation for the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Heck, I went to Hawaii for Thanksgiving five years ago and from the time I left Chicago, to the time I got back, I ran into five different people from Floyds Knobs (how ‘bout them apples)!!!!

With this Knobs-based analysis in mind, explain my knowing exactly zero people who have ever participated in the Nielsen ratings. And admit it: you don’t know anyone who has either.

If Friday Night Lights hadn’t been renewed for another season, I’d have taken my magnifying glass to this issue in more detail. As is, I’m merely uber skeptical.

15) Small Town Alert: Bardstown, KY
Bardstown, KY will always have a special place in my heart. Federal Hill Mansion in Bardstown inspired Stephen Foster to "My Old Kentucky Home" in 1852.

156 years later, Foster's lyrics will announce the arrival of the world's greatest 3-year old's at Churchill Downs next Saturday for the 134th running of the KY Derby. Anyone who's willing and able, should meet in front of the Jumbotron in turn one.

14)Eat, Pray, Love
Is it mathematically possible for every female between the ages of 28 and 40 to be reading this book? I’m inclined to think yes.

Knowing that publishers love a winning formula, I’m inclined to call Viking Publishing and see if they’ll give me an advance for writing a male equivalency. I’ve even got a title in mind: Stuff My Face, Drink Bud Heavies, and Sleep on Sunday.

13) “Dis”
It’s time to return our attention to neglected words/sayings. Author Adam Gopnik got me refocused on this word, using it in a totally unexpected context which I can't seem to relocate. But in his usage, some inanimate object (maybe a router) dissed another object (maybe a network). It got me to chuckle out loud, while realizing how under appreciated the term is.

I think I'll dis work next week and go to the Derby, where I'll dis Miller Lites in favor of Bud Heavies. Come to think of it, Miller Lite has to be bordering on a lifetime ban from the Chowder.

12) Peter Hessler on China
Staying with recent reads, I’ve recently come across two terrific books on China thanks to The New Yorker’s Beijing correspondent, Peter Hessler. Hessler went to China’s interior with the Peace Corps where he taught English literature to a group of would-be teachers in the small town of Fuling. His tenure there lead him to write River Town, an incredibly insightful and balanced look at life with the people of the Yangtze River.

Hessler's more recent offering, The Oracle Bones, covers more terrain (literally and thematically). The "bones" of reference are actually tortoise shells which contain evidence of written characters dating back to the Shang Dynasty, around 1350 B.C. But much of the book focuses on present-day China -- investigating the economic and societal realities that have come with Opening and Reform -- while leveraging the bones to glance back at China's past.

Both books receive high, high marks.

11) Three Gorges Dam
One of the most intriguing parts of River Town was the section devoted to the Three Gorges Dam project, which began in 1999 and won’t be completed until 2011. The Dam will have 32 generators, each capable of producing 700 MW of power, which is enough to power 350,000 households. The Three Gorges will be six times bigger than Hoover Dam.

More astoundingly, the project will affect the lives of over 360 million people in the Yangtze River Valley, 110 million of whom have to leave their homes due to the newly created reservoir. Can you imagine the U.S. passing legislation that would cause 35% of the country to uproot and leave their home?

I’m gonna go with, “No. Ha-Way. Ho-Say.”

10) The Grape of the Month: Pinot Grigio (Pinot Gris)
It’s April and there are hints of warmer weather in the air; it’s time to bust out a white grape.

Pinot grigio is native to Burgundy (France), but most people probably associate this grape with the light, crisp, inexpensive wines from Italy -- particularly those from the Friuli-Venezia Giulia region. But Pinot grigio/gris is grown the world over, and lately with acclaim in the Willamette (rhymes with “damn it”) Valley in Oregon.

Not as sweet as American Rieslings, not as dry or oaky as Chardonnay, not as citrusy as Sauvignon blancs – Pinot grigio is great option (and safe bet) for warm spring evenings. Good buys include: Cavit ($7), Mezzacorona ($9), King Estate ($12), and Elk Cove (the best $17 you’ll spend this month).

9) Supercentenarians
Edna Parker, the world’s oldest known human, turned 115 last Sunday. Her home? Good old Shelbyville, IN.

Parker is one of 75 known people who are 110 or more – a class known as the supercentenarians. 64 of the 75 supers (my term) are women – a statistic which surprises me not at all.

Let's face it, every time I go to Vision it probably costs me at least one day on the back end of my life. I'm not even going to contemplate the ramifications of Ibiza.

8) Rites of Spring
It's finally starting to feel a little bit like spring. For us Chicagoans, I stress the term "a little."

For me, spring traditions include: Thursday night burgers on the patio at Zella’s, mint juleps at Churchill Downs, & DQ Butterfinger Blizzards. Specific to that last one, why don't DQ workers turn the blizzards upside down any more?!?!? Seriously, I thought we – customers and the $5 an hour drive-up workers – had a universally accepted contract that guaranteed the upside down maneuver in perpetuity.

If this numeral doesn’t have “email advocacy campaign” written all over it, I don’t know what does.

7) FreeRice.com
This is pretty cool means to work on your vocabulary and simultaneously contribute to the fight against world hunger. Big ups to the folks at Poverty.com.

6) The Price of Fuel
To say that gasoline prices have been heading in a northerly direction might be understating things a tad. But I wonder how much extra coinage we’re spending on other consumables due to increased petroleum prices? Let’s face it: any good that gets flown anywhere....any good that is trucked anywhere...any good that is tied to the bumper of a Dong-where-is-my-automobile...is affected by petroleum costs.

I think I’ll start looking into paddle boats as an investment option.

5) Words of Wisdom w/It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: "This music sounds like two whales raping each other."

4) Parrot vs. Parakeet
I just learned that a parrot is really a big parakeet. Everyone else probably knew this factoid already, but I didn't.

Regardless, even more surprising: parakeets are (somehow) semi-prevalent in Brooklyn -- to the point where the city of New York tried to kill them off in the 1970s. Apparently parakeets like to build nests on high-voltage power poles and were rumored to carry psittacosis (no idea what that is...sounds infectious). But the city lost the eradication battle; the first city parakeets live in.

Trees, parakeets, immigrants: is there anything that doesn’t grow in Brooklyn?

3) Another Bulls Eye for El Bulli
For the 3rd consecutive year Chef-patron Ferran Adrià’s Spanish sensation, El Bulli, reigns atop the S. Pelligrino’s “World’s 50 Top Restaurants.” Known for its unwavering commitment to culinary innovation, the menu regularly boasts eclectic creations like snail porridge, egg and bacon ice cream, cherries wrapped in pig fat, and more recently, tomato cookies.

Two kitchens down the street from Chez Fields also made the list: Alinea (#21) and Charlie Trotter’s (#38). Two world class options in my hood, and still I opt for Totino’s a la pepperoni.

2) The Sexiest Woman Alive....
Is Megan Fox? Apparently that's the verdict after 9.7 million votes were tallied on FHM.

Be that as it may, I've never heard of Megan Fox! Who are these voters? I thought Gore had trouble in Florida; this is anarchy.

Give me Alba or give me death. Or if I’m being totally honest - based on the pic of this Keeley Hazell chic at number three – give me Alba or Hazell...or death.

1) A Month-Long Devotion
In Celebration of the Derby and the glorious month of May, the next month de Chowder will be devoted to the ponies (i.e. all things Derby) and the Knobs (i.e. the utopia which overlooks all things Derby). Trifecta wheels, quizzes about Southern Indiana, and guest bloggers discussing stints in the Knobs: they are all on deck in these pages.

So sit back and enjoy; everything has a rosier tint in May.